*sigh*

Today has basically climbed to the top of my list of "Worst Moments Ever." Ever since the beginning of break, I thought about how I would go about doing it; how would I ask that special girl to the last formal event of the year <actually of high school>? Surprise her after coming back from States? Create some sort of elaborate plan that would lead her from her driveway straight to her room? It was all just a jumble of mixed ideas that floated around in my head. Trying to be somewhat different but still thoughtful, I thought of a pretty nice way of asking. The next step was figuring out when to do it. Then last night, much thought and time was put into how I would proceed with my plan. All homework was pushed out of the way and friends’ advice was sought. The night followed of feeling the most nervous and scared in my entire life but there was still a distinct sense of anxiousness that flowed through my body. I knew that it would be something hard since I had never done anything like this before but I knew that I wanted to go through with it.  So after getting pushed by Betty and Brian to ask today, I made the decision and decided to go for it. Why not do it today? It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining; and there were hardly any worries in the world. So I jumped into the attendance office, exchanged my slip for an early dismissal. Third period rolled around and it was time for me to try and execute my plan, I bounced from class and went to all the places to get the stuff for my proposal. Time wound down and the time came when lunch rolled by. Certain “stuff” made me reconsider my actions for a second then I realized that I had to do this even if I doubted the outcome, I wanted to do this. I was so excited cause I thought that I might just be the luckiest guy at the Ball come May. So I assembled myself…walked straight to her…and asked. But my fate was to face nothing but disappointment. At that moment, a great chunk of my hope had vanished into thin air. My traumatized heart was only comforted, only in the slimmest sense, by the unnecessary applause that was given to my rejected efforts by all the seniors watching intently on senior lawn. That was only comfort in the sense that I knew that I had tried, I had taken a chance while giving it all I had <flowers and all>, but apparently it wasn’t enough.  But my wonderment about how things panned out didn’t stop there. Fifth period turned out to be 57 minutes of pure dread where I just wanted to ditch and go home to where I knew I would be comforted by….no one. There was no one there; it would be just me and myself. As soon as fifth period ended, I swiped my econ book from my locker and quickly exited school premises only to find myself driving down Fair Oaks Blvd not knowing where I was going. Time ticked as I sped, easily over the speed limit, down the winding road. Sense was finally knocked into me once I had to pull over to a complete stop near Crestview to allow three roaring fire trucks to pass by. Only then did I flip a U and then head back home, once again down that winding road. Once I got home, nothing seemed important. No way in hell was I going to start my homework and I didn’t feel the urge to watch tv, which was a first. I decided to take some time out and just think. So I went out the front door, sat on the doorsteps under the porch and just sat there, half in the shade, half in the sun.  Past moments passed through my mind, those that really existed and those that I wish had happened. I sat there on those steps for a good 50-60 minutes but then I started to fall asleep and dream outside on those steps with my elbows on my knees and my hands propping up my head. It was then that I sort of started to make it back to a somewhat normal routine with a small meal at BK. No parents and 5 dollars=fast food.  I started to continue watching the Band of Brothers series but I couldn’t really focus cause the events of today kept popping into my head. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to let it up that easily. And I know for a fact that when Senior Ball comes along, just like last year as Junior Prom rolled around, I would be on that couch again with a rented movie and some sushi….actually, I think ill substitute sushi this year no matter how badly I don’t want to. And I know it’s just a dance, but it’s more than that to me. I messed up every year and I regretted it every year. People could say that I could just go with someone else, but honestly, there is no one else in the world that I’d rather go with than her. Every time I feel like I will bounce back on my feet, I keep thinking back to earlier today and then I sink back down. I am happy that I made that move today though, something that I never had the guts to do before. But I’m still mad, disappointed, pissed, angry at myself that I was never able to do that kind of stuff 5 years ago back in 8^th grade. I think that the Wong Act** has helped in these last couple of weeks or so, but only if I had created that when it really mattered. 

After looking back on this entry, I can now say that I am not ashamed or embarrassed by anything that I have done. I feel a little stronger than I did yesterday and I understand more that what other people think really doesn’t matter. It’s all about the individual and the self-respect and self-esteem that one holds for oneself. Like I can make this list and I won’t care what comments come back ridiculing these items.

I like Alyssa Carroll
I like the movie Serendipity
I like the movie Pearl Harbor
I like Shania Twain
I like country music
I like Boyz II Men
I like the movie Armageddon
I like emotional movies and songs
I like songs about love
I like to sometimes stay in and watch a movie instead of going out to party

I have learned to admit all these things and realize that it’s me that it affects. It’s me that determines who I am. And some people may call me their “sister” or a girl or a woman, but I’ll always know that yes I may like these things but that doesn’t make me any less of a man <well maybe a little less> but I still have those guy qualities that people seem to concentrate on less than they do the feminine qualities. I still have my guy list.

I like the military
I like Kate Beckinsale and Natalie Portman
I like working out and looking sexxxxy
I like Black Hawk Down, Saving Private Ryan, Band of Brothers
I like to play airsoft <most of the time>
I like playing soccer and baseball
I like competition <mostly>
I like driving fast
I like watching baseball and basketball
I like playing tackle rather than flag football

Well, I guess I feel more secure with myself, but I will always wonder, like I do now, about all those missed opportunities and how I could have been so shy and reluctant and such a fucking jackass. I guess I truly do understand now what regret means and how the things that mean the most to you can easily be lost if chances are not taken.

I guess Huey Lewis was right, “The power of love is a curious thing, can make one man weep and another man sing”

I guess it’s me who’s weeping now…

Here is the Wong Act so that others can follow it if they feel fit to do so.

**Wong Act

There are many quotes that people could use to dictate the way people lead their lives. “Life is what you make it.” -Donny from the OC. “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” –Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. “Brothers (and sisters), what we do in life…..echoes in eternity.” -Maximus Decimus Meridius from Gladiator. And I will admit that I do occasionally use these words of wisdom in order to coerce me to lead a more happy life. And as our final months of high school wind down, it has come to my attention and to the attention of many of my friends that maybe we haven’t made the greatest use of high school.

High school is supposed to be the time of our lives and I’ve come to realize that I really haven’t made that much of it. There are only 3 months left and as I look back on these last 4 years, I can’t really see many things that I can say I’m proud of doing. I reflect back on high school and all I can see is a shitload of homework, countless hours spent in class, some stupid fights, some dances and scattered in between, some days of happiness with my friends and family. But now I kind of believe that maybe high school should have been a little more laid back. I mean, high school is supposed to be a time when we have all the fun we can, not a time to study our asses off for four years and then go crazy thinking about if we got into the college we wanted to. We shouldn’t be stressing over college. The college that we go to does not change the things you learn about the real world. In ten years, nobody will look at your high school diploma or your ten-year-old transcript, but rather at you and the person you have become.

If you think about it, what has everyone in the Class of ’04 been striving for these last 4 years? Has everyone not been studying hours and hours, reading pages and pages (some of us really haven’t), writing papers and papers, and doing everything possible and beyond in order to pack their transcripts so that they will look like the superior candidate for their college of choice? I can still remember those dreadful nights when I stayed up until 2 or 3am just trying to finish my homework. And even during our senior year, we are all still attempting to make our records look the best by taking 3 or 4 AP classes even though many of us have already been accepted into college.

How many times have you passed up having fun with friends because you had a stupid chemistry test the next day, or a paper or reading due? Many of us are letting high school pass us by, but now isn’t the time to be beaten by something as trivial as high school. The equilibrium concentrations of a titration may fly completely over our heads, but life itself is running away from us too. Now chemistry and King Lear will probably never cross our paths again in life and we certainly don’t care. Yet there will be regret of not taking those chances, living in the moment and getting lost in the moment with friends. So we can no longer sit in class and daydream as we gaze out that window that fills the wall! We can no longer curse missed opportunities! We can no longer contemplate the meaning of life when we have a life to lead! And we can no longer think about all those times we missed our chance to ask that girl to all those dances throughout high school! Ok, now I am not saying that we should all throw away our homework, cut class everyday and get shitfaced every night until graduation. But I think that we owe it to ourselves to just take a good chunk of our time away from our schoolwork and just have some good ol’ fun. I don’t know about everyone else’s parents, but I know mine have told me that “you are only a kid once, don’t be in such a hurry to grow up.” It is now that time to have fun. We are young and we will never have this opportunity again. Senior year, especially right now, isn’t the time to worry about our work. We’ll all have enough work to do when we grow up. I have also concluded that I don’t think I’ll ever remember high school/life unless I make an effort to remember them.

And for the reasons stated above, I have now enacted the Wong Act. From this point on, I will take advantage of all opportunities to hang out with friends, photograph moments/acts/events, party, and to just have a good time.  The amount of time to worry has run out and the amount of time to have the time of my life has just been discovered. I will no longer hesitate (well not as much) to see movies on Thursday nights, bowl on Tuesday nights, or play a nice game of soccer on a Saturday morning. I will also make a strong effort to take as many pictures as I can by carrying around my camera everywhere I go (except for the bathroom…or the shower….) The following is a list of things/events/objects that will be added to the “list of things to do before college” in order to maximize the latter-senior year experience.

1. MOVIES!                                         
2. SOCCER!                                         
3. Golfing                                    
4. Bowling                                                         
5. Workouts                                           
6. SWIMMING!                                               
7. The oc                                                 
8. Watching sunsets/sunrises                                   
9. Mongolian BBQ                                       
10. Jamba juice                                        
11. Parties                                                 
12. Grad parties                                     
13. PICTURES PICTURES PICTURES!!  
14. Home Run derby
15. ROAD TRIPS!
16. Mikunis
17. Burning CDs for friends
18. Miniature golfing
19. Indian Food
20. Chipotle
21. Garcia’s
22. Sleepovers
23. Late Night Food Runs
24. Driving around aimlessly
25. Letting the night stay young
26. Doing absolutely nothing with friends!

This list will continue to get bigger and bigger.

To quote the great philosopher Jon P. Hearty, “I've learned one thing, and that's to quit worrying about stupid things. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember the time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Spend money you don't have. The work never ends, but high school does...”

"Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around." -Sofia Serrano from Vanilla Sky.

Here is one more song that illustrates my feelings. One Great Song.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll Be better when I'm older
I'll Be the greatest fan of your life
Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll Be better when I'm older
I'll Be the greatest fan of your life
I've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, remembered the things you said
I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll Be better when I'm older
I'll Be the greatest fan of your life
I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll be better when i'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of you life
The greatest fan of your life

edwin mccain – i’ll be

I Fucked up these Last 4 ½ years and I now know that…
…I just hope that I can get back chances once lost, opportunities once missed.

And concluding, I quit xanga for the time being. No college talk or anything else on this final entry, just the thing(s) that means the most to me.

April 13, 2004

Xanga seems to be dying with most people but there will always be a place in my heart for xanga...a very very small place. I got back from Chicago yesterday around 10pm after visiting my brother with my parents. Chicago is overall a very cool city from what I got to see except for the fact that it was around 25 degrees. And on this 4 day trip I made some discoveries:
1_Traveling with parents is kinda sucky. I mean it is nice to once in awhile go places with the parents but going on distant trips with them kinda blows. Being on the plane isn't as fun compared to if you were with friends, the hotel situation sucks since there is no one to mess around with and the overall experience is lowered when you have to be with your parents when you wander the city. In my case, the hotel situation was an exceptionally crappy one. Not only did I have to share the TV with my folks but I got a little irritated when my folks woke up at 5.30am and blasted the tv. Now don't get me wrong, I always welcome tv into my life, but thats just a little too early, especially with the time zone difference.
2_Chicago has some horrible drivers. No one is courteous when it comes to driving. I think that the whole "left turn yield" partly caused the problem. Cars ran red lights hella and people were really close to getting run over. Also, Chicago drivers never signal so people just cut each other off left and right.
3_I think I might have a little more of a "protective" side to me than I thought. I realized this after walking on the Chicago streets with my parents and bro. My bro would always lead the way since he knew the town and I would always stay in the back behind my parents cause I think subconsciously, I wanted to be in the back in order to protect my parents from anything that might happen. Now I'm only a little taller than my parents but I did feel the need to stay in the back to prevent any pickpocketers or psychotic morons from harming my family. And my innerself still propelled me to the back when we were on the streets at 9pm looking for the CTA. It started to just be impulse to take the rear end of the train. Maybe I'm looking too much into this and I was really just trying to stay distanced from my family cause I was in a gloomy/sullky mood. I think it was actually a little bit of both....but more protective.

I did get to see some pretty cool things like the Sears Tower, the Museum of Contemporary Art, the Art Institute of Chicago, and the John Hancock Observatory. The museums were pretty cool with the abstract art. I got to take some cool pictures in the Institute but not in the Contemp Arts. And the views from the top (not quite top) of the John Hancock Observatory and Sears Tower were just spectacular. The Hancock view was breathtaking with the view of the ocean alongside the buildings. If you want to see them let me know cause I still haven't quite figured out how to post pics from my digi cam. I also saw Blue Man Group which was interesting. They are really a talented group of drummers and rhythm makers. And Chicago wouldn't be complete without the food. Gyros from two different restaurants kicked hella ass. They were soooooo good. Chicago-style pizza was a nice touch right before the BMG show. Those were the high points of the trip. Oh and my dad got stopped at the X-Ray machine because they thought he was carrying a saw in his bag, go figure.

On to college talk. Ummmmm....yeah. I have currently been accepted into Sac State, University of San Francisco, San Diego State, SF State, Chico and Santa Clara University. I feel pretty comfortable with the colleges that I've been accepted into cause unfortunately UCLA did not want my dumb ass and that means that Berkeley probably won't want me either, but who knows, maybe I'll luck out on CAL. But I still havent heard from UCSD, UCD, UCSB and Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. But I think I can obtain a pretty nice business or engineering degree from those that I've been accepted to, but I'll wait til I hear from the rest of em before I make my decision.

As for West Point, that's a whole other story. Last week I received a letter that said the Academy closed my Candidate File due to my failure to submit all parts of my application which I still can't believe cause the only part they are missing is my transcript which Burden even sent twice cause they never got the first one. This basically means that I can't go to the academy. I felt so bad and sulked basically the whole week (also because of other shit also) But in all honesty, and this may come as a shock to some, but I did feel a little relieved when I heard that I wasn't going to USMA. Just because for those few moments I knew that I woulnd't have to worry about leaving my friends and family and I didn't have to wonder anymore about all the things that I'm still unsure of about the academy. But I didn't let it rest there. They thought they could get rid of me, but the way I see it, it's only just begun. Burden faxed and sent my shit off for the third time and now I think they are reviewing my shit. And if this plan doesn't work I think I'm going to send off the stuff to my WP buddies and have them walk my stuff to the Admin Building. Now I guess all I can do is wait for them to contact me. I still don't know if I'll accept if I do get accepted but I was sulking before because I wanted to know if I could get in and it would have been nice to have the option to go if I wanted to. I put in all that time in order to get that far and I thought it was bullshit to let it all go on a stupid thing like my missing transcript. I just want to know what I can do and I want to have the option. I put so much work into getting that far including getting the Congressional Nomination and training for my PAE, which is my next topic. (ya like that segway didn't ya?) Took my Physical Aptitude Examination a couple weeks ago and here are the results.

Events: My Score_Minimum Needed
Pushups: 61_54
Shuttle: 58.4_59.6
Basketball Throw: 64'_66'
Long Jump: 7'10"_7'9"
Pullups: 15_8

Thanks to everyone who came and supported me especially BDavis, Jordan and PDo! Pdo, I'll never forget about the Thorn Story. That was great man!

School has really been sucking. I think I might be failing my gov class. But on the up side, this friday is the last yearbook deadline! YAYYYY!! But then after that we gotta do like 4 or 5 sets of proofs which will suck. I think I'm going to die after this week of school. This is going to be hell. Chem test, Gov test, Chem labs, Reading, NP layout, 13 YB spreads and Track meet. This weekend is going to be sweeeeeeeet though.

On another note, I still see that some people feel a certain way and I hate it when they feel that way and I know that I feel that way also, Heck, I feel that way right now. So in the case of an emergency I will be forced to bring out the Act and put it into effect, but for the time being, it will stay locked up. PDo and Rish, this is to remain classified.

Can someone do me a favor and slap me in the face each time I don't take up more opportunities? I mean, whenever I pass up anything, doesn't matter what the case is. From now on, if you the reader think that I have done something incorrectly or think that I have done something stupid, then by all means slap away. Thank you very much.
Note: if you think you can slap me whenever you want on random shit, think again.

It's been a while since I last updated. Well, I liked my last post just because it was the first time I was really honest about stuff and I like to be honest, it makes me feel good. Anyways, I'll just sum up some of the stuff that has happened in the last month and then end with the "thoughts/feelings" portion. Well, I found out in early January that I received a Congressional Nomination from Doug Ose which is so cool. But getting the nomination doesn't mean that I automatically get into the academy, I still have to do my Physical Aptitude Test and even then, I still compete with 9 other equally eligible candidates for the vacancy into the academy. It's a little complicated.

Gotta give props to Darren for making the layout for my Xanga. Going with the whole "honesty" theme, I decided to make a layout with one of my favorite actresses and along with the layout I decided to change the profile pic and the music.

I had my finals and I think I did fine on them. I never got my Ap Gov final back but i had to do extremely bad in order to get a B in the class. I got a 44/50 on my Ap Chem final which makes me feel good about myself. Ap Eng I got a B just because I don't participate because I didn’t read some of the books first semester. And I got A's in Yb and Np. Things in Np have been kind of weird lately. I can't really explain it, it just seems like a lot of people seem discontent with having to handle the work. And Yb just sucks in itself cause many of the staffers suck so Lindsey, Mark and I have to work hella to fix their mistakes. Man I sure hope this yearbook comes out nicely. So many outside hours are being put into this and if it comes out to be a piece of shit, I'll be so pissed.

Back to the West Point talk. I have decided to take my test on Friday, February 13, 2004. It's going to be a big day. I can't screw this up. I've been pretty consistent with working out to improve my strength but for the next 8 days I'm going to be doing more weight lifting, pushups, situps, and running, so if you want to run with me, that'd be cool. On the big day, I'm going to need a lot of support though. [edit] I may not take the test on friday anymore, just because its friday the thirteenth, cant be good and more importantly because im not sure i can pass the long jump. im working extra hard this week but i dont know if ill be able to improve enough by friday. im about 4 inches short from my goal.

Senioritis has really been owning me. For a great long time, I had been doing barely any work, just sleeping a lot, and then for the first time a while I had a good deal of homework. But even though I love to sleep, I kinda promised myself that I would give up some sleep in order to hang out with friends more and enjoy myself more before I go off to college.

I got my report card for the first semester the other day and I got 4 A's and 1 B, a 4.40 weighted GPA. Kinda proud of myself but also a little disappointed I guess.

I think I have pretty much caught you all up to date. Last Saturday I went to watch the Mock Trial at the Downtown courthouse where they did excellent on both their trials. And then they advanced to the final round of counties which was today. And guess what? They won. So now they're off to the State competition......which sucks. Sorry, I'm just being bitter cause I feel Mock Trial has taken away a lot of my friends, lately and it will continue for a while, I havent really been able to hang out with my friends or even see them at school. But in all "honesty," I really am proud of all of them. They worked really hard to win counties, they truly do deserve it. Seeing them all happy with smiles covering their faces just puts a smile on my face. The trial today was kinda interesting, just because I thought that being in Mock Trial seemed kinda cool for a sec, well being a witness I guess, then I remembered back to last year when Brian tried to get me to join and just be a witness, but I really don't have the time. I guess I could have tried to shove it into my schedule. O well. And I think I discovered something today. I have once again proven that I am a jackass. A stupid jackass who can't get any words out. But I truly, honestly think that the reason no words can come out is because when I look at her, it's like im mesmerized by her beauty and then I can't focus; everything just seems to stop, my mind stops turning and then im stuck there. maybe im just crazy, but thats just the way it feels right now.

Ok, I think that it's time that I do my workout for tonight and then hit the sack. I'm kinda tired even though I haven't eaten dinner yet and it's 11.20pm. I was offered to go to dinner by the MT team but I just didn't feel right going with them. I actually really wanted to and hang out, but I figured it was time to celebrate, their time to celebrate, I didn't belong there at that moment and that place. I would have felt like a misfit. So then I just came home and watched Black Hawk Down, a movie always good to help motivate me to work harder.

I repeat once more. I believe we have about 4 months left before we all head off to college so lets not regret not doing anything. To quote mark twain "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream."
Im not going to regret jack anymore.

is this the way?

Happy New Year!!!

It's 2004 and now that it's here it's kinda scary, knowing that in less than 6 months we'll be in college. We're growing up. We went from 4-square > Tetherball > Top of elementary school > 6-teacher grades with lockers > Freshman Friday > Seniors preparing for college and life on our own. Let's just not forget those that really matter in our lives.

Here are a couple surveys just because im bored out of my mind. There are acutally a lot more surveys but I figured this should be enough for right now.

Name: Alexander Wong
Sex: Male
Date of birth: Sept. 12, 1986 
Height: 5'2", 5'3"
Hair Color: Black
Is your hair long or short: umm, short 
City born in: Sacramento
Location now: Sacramento
Siblings: Two brothers
Parents: Two of them too
Who are your closest friends: I don't really know, I hang out with so many different groups of people. 
Who makes you laugh the most?: Brian, Daniel Su, Darren 
Who knows the most about you?: Brian or Renata

WHO WAS CRUSH IN:

Kindergarten: Still busy with the little black army men and putting them on the block forts, remember that one joe?
1st Grade: No one
2nd Grade: No one
3rd Grade: No one
4th Grade: No one
5th Grade: No one
6th Grade: Sarah Butler
7th Grade: No one
8th Grade: No one then Alyssa Carroll
9th Grade: Alyssa
10th Grade: Alyssa
11th Grade: Alyssa
12th Grade: Alyssa
COLLEGEEEE: ummmm, if i go to usma, then it might just be some macho guy...ewwwww, it's like a 12:1 or 8:1 ratio of guys:girls
Boy/girlfriend status: Single 

OTHER STUFF ABOUT U:

Do you have a job: Just a student
What are you scared of: Failure and being alone
Who's your role model: Brothers, Parents, Jeff Struecker, Randy Shughart, Gary Gordon
Most interesting thing you've done this winter: like nothing
What store do you shop at the most: GAP, Old Navy probably
Have you ever done any drugs: Nope
Do you collect anything: Used to collect baseball cards
Are you a ditz: I hope not

FAVORITES:

Day of the week: Friday or Saturday                                                        
Cousins: I love em all
Music: Basically everything, Country, Hip/Hop, Rap, Rock, R&B, Jazz, Classical
Song(s): At the moment some of them are Five for Fighting-100 Years, Oasis-Wonderwall, Frankie J-We Still, Nick Drake-Northern Sky, Jamie Walters-How do you talk to an angel
Animals: Doggie, Puppy, Penguin
Ice Cream: Mint Chocholate Chip, Neopolitan
Drink: Milk, Water, Jamba Juice
Things to do: Hang with Friends, watch movies, eat mikunis
Movies of all time: Black Hawk Down, Serendipity, Enemy of the State, Pearl Harbor, Saving Private Ryan, Armageddon, Con Air, Air Force One
Hangout: At someone's house or basically anywhere with friends
Favorite pizza topping: Olives and mushrooms, pineapples are good too
If you could live anywhere: Sac, London, NY, SF....anywhere with good weather, nice scenery, and good people
What age do you want to get married: Can't decide that now, it'll be when it's right 
How many kids do you want: Wife and I will decide later
Girl's names: I dont know
Boy's names: Ryan 

HAVE U EVER:

Been in love?: I don't know
Lied?: Yeah
Cheated on a test?: Does Mahoney's class count? 
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend?: Haven't had a gf, but I would never cheat
Tied your shoes together?: Not that I recall
Eaten something with a lot of fat?: Yeah, but im turning healthy (well healthy-er) and i dont care what you guys say, an In-n-Out burger and fries and milk IS healthy

SEX:

1st thing you notice about the opposite sex: In all truthfullness, im with Darren, but with me its smile/ass/hair
Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?: Renata? even though she can be quite the......yeah. 
What do you look for in the opposite sex: One who will love me with all their heart. Someone who is cute, has a good sense of humor, smart, thoughtful, caring, ambitious.  
What does the opposite sex not know about you: I'm really not girly, i mean really, would i be considering West Point if i was a girl. also, i am more careing, thoughtful than people think.

NIGHTY NITE:

What do you wear to bed: Depending on the season, sweats, PJs, mesh shorts, t-shirts, tank tops
What's your bed time: Dont really have one, just when im tired and feel like skipping my hw to sleep, but that's not that often.
TV in your room: Nah 
The last thing you do before you fall asleep: Think about the next day, or how I may have screwed up the day that just passed.
How many schools have you been to: 4
Are you passive or aggressive: I'd say a little bit of both
Vanilla or chocolate: Depending on what the food is
Would you rather be hot or cold: Cold I guess
what is your curfew: 1a.m. except noone else can really stay out that late so alot of times its useless

FRIENDS:

Person you can trust the most: I really don't know cause apparently people have broken my trust before. 
What is the best quality of a friend: Someone who cares for you, sticks by you through the really rough times, gives you advice, and tries to help you with whatever you need.
What friend do you have the most fun with: Brian maybe
Name your friends: Im not going to do that

RANDOMNESS:

If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?: I wouldn't have drank so much coffee when I was younger, basically saying i would change my height, but ive learned to deal with it pretty nicely and i dont think it should prevent me from doing anything or anyone else from anything also. height is so insignificant. Go Spud Webb! 
Have you ever tried to kill yourself: Nope
Do you know anyone who SERIOUSLY wanted to kill themselves?: Not like kill kill themselves, but just give up with meds for cancer and let it be 
Who do you really hate?: No one really
What are you addicted to?: the OC, military and MIKUNIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you like jewelry?: some, depending on what it is
Do you wear a watch?: Not anymore, I dont really have one
Did/Do you have braces?: Nope
Do you believe in God?: Yeah, I think so
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Sure
What are your favorite tv show(s)?: the OC, Friends, Smallville
What color tooth brush do you use?: I think it's Blue/black now
Most dangerous thing you've ever done: Can't remember, Sacramento isn't really the place where people can be the most dangerous

SCREEN NAMES: AlexWong912 and some older ones that I haven’t been on in a long time, but still remember
NATURAL HAIR COLOR: Black
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: Black
EYE COLOR: Brown

(FAVORITES)
NUMBER: 22
COLOR: Blue or black
MONTH: ummm, December?
FOOD: Mikunissssss
SEASON: All of em, Fall a little less than the others though

(PREFERENCES)
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT? Depending on with who
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE? Depends on when
MILK, DARK, OR WHITE CHOCOLATE? Milk

(IN THE LAST 24 HOURS, HAVE YOU)
CRIED? I think I’ve been Ok for the last 24 hours.
HELPED SOMEONE? yes
BOUGHT SOMETHING? no
GONE TO THE MOVIES? no
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? no
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? It wasn’t in the last 24 hours
MISSED SOMEONE? yup

(killing time...)
Last big car ride: what constitute as big? I went to relatives for Christmas which is about 2 hours away, is that considered big?
Last kiss: mom or dad? Awhile ago, a girl? Ummm….never, yeah. Never.
Last good cry: Don’t Recall
Last movie seen: Phonebooth, thanks Alyssa!
Last library book: Something for my term paper
Last beverage drank: Milk
Last food consumed: Curry Lamb
Last crush: Alyssa
Last phone call: Crestview Lanes, a little late night bowling
Last TV show watched: nothing was on and I was bored, so I watched World Idol, Kelly Lost.

Last time showered: about 7pm
Last shoes worn: My New Balances
Last CD played: A burned CD from my bro
Last item bought: One of the Christmas gifts
Last annoyance: don’t know
Last disappointment: 1999-2003
Last ice cream eaten: Mint Chocolate chip
Last soda drank: I don’t drink soda, don’t like it, never have
Last time wanting to die: I don’t know
Last time scolded: don’t recall
Last shirt worn: um….the one im wearing right now, a sleeveless Bossini shirt from CHINAAA
Last web site visited: Congressman Ose’s site to check for the noms

//10 bands/artists you've been listening a lot to lately:
1) Alkaline Trio
2) Keith Urban
3) Kenny Chesney
4) Evan and Jaron
5) Five for Fighting
6) Frankie J
7) Joe
8) Kai
9) Rascal Flatts
10) Nick Drake

//09 things you look forward to:
1) finding that special someone
2) spending time with friends
3) remaining time in HS
4) new movies
5) lunch with the group
6) sleeping
7) dreaming
8) more mikunis
9) maybe training with fellow cadets….jk….no but really
10) college

//8 things you like to wear:
1) PJs
2) microfleece
3) sleeveless shirts
4) hooded sweatshirts
5) comfortable workout pants
6) mesh shorts
7) GAP
8) any nice clothes

//07 things that annoy you:
1) nails on the chalkboard
2) self-centered people (good call keith)
3) assholes who think theyre "all that"
4) power surges
5) power outages
6) broken heater (a lot of power problems in the last couple days)
7) losing stuff

//06 things you say most days:
1) hey insert name here
2) shut up
3) im bored (applies to this break mainly)
4) this sucks
5) oh my gosh
6) I hate yearbook / yearbook rules (depending on the day)

//05 things you do everyday:
1) shower
2) brush my teeth
3) think about stuff
4) eat food
5) listen to music

//04 people you want to spend more time with:
1) alyssa
2) alyssa
3) family
4) friends

//03 movies you could watch over and over again:
1) Serendipity
2) Black Hawk Down
3) Pearl Harbor

//02 of your favorite songs at the moment:
1) Alkaline Trio - Radio
2) Keith Urban – Your Everything

//01 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
1) Possibly Alyssa….but I don’t know....

[No Regrets - Time's Passing Us By]

Happy Chrismukkah Everyone! Take advantage of this day people, it only comes around once a year (or for you jewish people, 8 days a year). Be Safe. Be Patient. But most importantly.....Be Happy .

Dang, its been about 4 weeks since I updated, that's pretty long. I figured if I started updating again maybe others would also, might get the craze going again. anyways, anyone could guess, its about 3:45am right now. dang im getting to be so bad. i should be in bed sleeping but im not. its thursday right before winter break so i figured if i fall asleep tomorrow in class it wont be that bad since we aint doing jack. i could actually have been in bed about an hour ago but guess what ive been doing? well i made a friendtest also which will be posted in my Subprofile for you all to take. i commented on just about everyone's xanga, i tried to at least. i tried to update my subprofile but the site is messed right now. and i just realized that im typing really really slowly right now cause my fingers are so cold. yeah, and of course im listening to music, what else would i be doing? so peaceful. i would be staring out at the sky also right now, but unfortunately its pitch black outside.

So let's see what's been going on the past month. Well, my UC and CSU apps were submitted over thanksgiving break at like 430 in the morning cause it was busy all during the day and it was busy at 230am also so i spent like 2 hours to sumbit a couple apps. ive been sick for liek 2 weeks now and im still a ltitle sick. i had my nomination interview last weekend.with 8 retired military officers which was pretty weird/scary [not like scary scary, cause lets face it, im not scared of anything, except being alone, not succeeding, spiders, snakes] yeah, but i think it went pretty well except that i didnt answer some of the questions that well since i dont know "what is the negative thing about me" or "if we should form a coalition to help rebuild iraq" oh well, its over, time for the next stage, the PAE. damn i gotta start working out again, gota get in shape. if anyone wants to get in shape with me over the break, then give me a call. its be great to have a workout buddy.

I saw the Last Samurai with joe and his dad. It was a pretty tite movie.Top Cruise did a pretty good job. The action sequences were cool also.

Yearbook is getting kind of tough especially when sports deadlines come around. But hopefully it'll look good when it comes out. Its especially tough when I got a yearbook deadline and a newspaper deadline in the same week. The OC is so tite. It just gets better and better. I don't want to say any more cause i don't want to spoil it for people who havent seen the latest episode.

On a different note, I'm done with math in high school. no more math for me, im done. its kinda sad when i think about it since i love math but its just that the math that i was learning these last 4 months at AR wasn't that fun. but it's cool i dont gotta worry about going to AR at night.

Today, I went to see Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King with Alyssa and Renata. We me tup with Brittani and Alli at the theatres. It was a really good movie but some parts were kinda weird. Hmmm. Weird thing, today [thursday] is the last day when i could honestly say that i was happy. I was more lively and active today than i have been in the longest time. Even though i knew i had a term paper due the next day which i hadnt started, there was still a smile on my face for just about the whole day, definitely at school. It's definitely going to be days like these that I'll miss if I go to USMA. But yeah, I just hope I make the best of these last high school days the best i can.

I really need to get my gifts. I havent done any because i went on sun and it was so packed i decided to just go on a weekend, but with my math final, i havent really been able to get out. Today after school was a perfect opportunity to get out and finish....well, start, my shopping but i passed it up to see a movie, which im glad i did....sometimes you gotta give things up to enjoy moments that might not come again.

Lonestar Rocks! sorry, just listenin to them and thought i should let everyone know.

Edit: So yesterday [saturday] was a very interesting day. First of all, I went out to lunch by myself (i just didn't feel like eating indian food with ken, pdo, and rishi). So I went to Noodle City by myself, and oddly enough, it was very relaxing. I sat next to the window and enjoyed my food and just read the newspaper. I never knew fun it would be. Then later that night, I met up with Brian and Erica at Leatherby's. That night (technically this morning, cause we were out kinda late) after Brian's mom, sister and her friends left Leatherby's, the three of us just stuck around and talked about school, college, etc and the weirdest thing happened. So I think it was some sort of opera night or something but this group of girls came in, all in pretty skimpy clothes. And then another group came in, also in slutty clothes [i.e. verrrrrry short skirts]. A few seconds pass by and then another group comes in and not surprisingly, in similar clothes. Basically every single girl had a very short skirt on made of sequins (sp?). All of these groups of girls looked like they came from different schools. Next, a group of Loretto girls came in with their school skirts on but looked like they hiked them up about 3 or 4 inches to show off their legs. But it was incredibly crazy. All the different groups sat at different tables and in order to identify them all, Brian, Erica and I color coordinated them. There was the Blue group [blue sweaters] behind Brian, the Green group [green skirts] to the right of Erica, the White Group [just lots of white] next to the Blue Group and in the corner the Red Group [red skirts]. In total, there was about 25 girls in 5 different groups, with one guy at each table [a bf of one of the girls?] There was a another group on the other side of the restaurant, the Navy Blue group. So for awhile, the three of us jsut continued our conversation, shared some school stories, and joked about all the girls in the room. According to Brian, there were more hot girls in that room than there are at Mira Loma. I'll admit that a lot of the girls were somewhat hot, but still, all I could think about was Alyssa ....

Well, my physical training officially starts this break and will continnue every single day til i take my test. It's going to be a tough month and a half, but it's something I gotta do. If anybody wants to work out with me, they can. Just drop me a line. Hey Renata, guess what was on tv today?....Can't Hardly Wait. Yeah I remember what you said and...yeah...I watched it....then stopped....

Also, I flipped to see Black Hawk Down on tv, and then I thought, it's kinda scary, the fact that I'm training so that I can be one of those guys that either falls out of a helicopter or one of many soldiers that was shot. Everyone, watch Black Hawk Down and think if you can ever see me as one of those guys.

Well, nothing planned yet for winter break. Hit me up on the cell and we'll figure out something to do whether it just be bowling or hanging out at starbucks or just kickin it at my house.

Keith Urban-Your Everything
The first time I looked in your eyes I knew
That I would do anything for you
The first time you touched my face I felt
Like I've never felt with anyone else

I wana give back what you've givin' to me
And I wanna witness all of your dreams
Now that you've shown me who I really am
I wanna be more then just your man

I wanna be the wind that fills your sails
And be the hand that lifts your veil
And be the moon that moves your tide
The sun coming up in your eyes
Be the wheels that never rust
And be the spark that lights you up
All that you've been dreaming of and more
So much more, I wanna be your everything...

When you wake up, I'll be the first thing you see
And when it gets dark you can reach out for me
I'll cherish your words and I'll finish your thoughts
And I'll be your compass baby, when you get lost

I wanna be the wind that fills your sails
And be the hand that lifts your veil
And be the moon that moves your tide
The sun coming up in your eyes
Be the wheels that never rust
And be the spark that lights you up
All that you've been dreaming of and more
So much more, I wanna be your everything...

Be the wheels that never rust
And be the spark that lights you up
All that you've been dreaming of and more
So much more, I wanna be your everything...
I wanna be your everything
[i wanna be your everything....]

I think I'm done. 4:27am.
check out the quiz, the link is in the subprofile
Serendipity: Thu Dec 25 5:45A, Thu Dec 25 6:20P, Mon Dec 29 11:45A, Mon Dec 29 10:10P, ENCORE  

Alan Jackson ft. Jimmy Buffett-It's Five O'Clock Somewhere
Back to this bg, ain't it pretty....just like....

i wish it would rain down, down on me.
// its during times like these that i really wish i were with her....even if it is just as friends //

[No Regrets-Time's Flying]